I Do Not Remember
by TearsOfARose
Summary: As Harry is helping to clean out Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, he finds a few photos. He begins to learn that there was more to Sirius Black's past than he ever knew. A past that involved a beautiful blonde who captured his heart. Somehow original got deleted, sorry. Updates are on Mondays and Thursdays.
1. Chapter 1

"Harry, dear, would you mind looking through this old box? It's the last thing to go through in the office." Mrs. Weesley asked kindly and dropped a box in front of Harry. She looked at the tired boy and brushed some of his unruly, black hair out of his eyes, "Don't worry," she said sweetly, "it shouldn't be too hard to go through this one. Probably just old trinkets, Remus glanced at some when he threw it in here. He said there wasn't anything special. Just a quick look through please."

The young wizard nodded and began to sort through the box, there was a couple of necklaces he could only assume belonged to be Mrs. Black, he found a few empty shoe boxes, a pair of shoes. It wasn't taking too long to go through the objects; they were mostly trash, nothing that the Order would need to preserve. He kept looking for anything that might be needed, although it didn't seem likely that this box would hold anything. As Molly had said, it was all junk.

Under a couple of blankets and a Slytherin sweatshirt Harry stumbled upon a small box, with the Gryffindor seal on it. The seal was faded, it almost looked like someone had tried to rub the seal off. With a growing interest he opened the box to find a stack of old photographs planted inside, looking closer he realized that one of the people in the picture was a younger version of his godfather. Young Sirius didn't hold the burdens which now plagued Sirius Black. He was carefree and happy, there was also a short girl, she had blonde hair which curled around her face making her look like an angel. The girl stood behind a wall and was peaking around it, she would then look over at the young Sirius and smile at him. Even Harry who was looking at this photo through time itself could see the pure love shared between the two. His curiosity grew, he never knew that Sirius had been in love.

Flipping through the stack he saw his father, Remus, and Peter. Often the blonde girl would be in a picture, once there was his mother. They were all so happy in each photograph.

"Hey, kid, what are you looking at?" Remus asked cheerfully as he walked into the empty room. He looked over Harry's shoulder, "Can I see this?" He asked quietly, he lightly held the pictures. He ran his fingers over the scene with a smile on his face.

"Who is she," asked Harry, not willing to beat around the bush.

"This, this is Tamina Night. She was your mum's best friend and your godmother. I don't know if I should tell you the story though, this one should be Sirius's." Remus's voice had changed from happy to sad, as the memories rushed back to him, "We all loved her," he seemed to be forced to add, "she had something about her that just made you want to protect her from everything that could ever go wrong."

Harry reached for the photo, "I think I'm going to ask Sirius for the full story." Harry mumbled as he walked out of the room, not able to take his eyes off the picture. He noticed that Sirius looked happy, there was no longer the sullen look that time had taken on him to produce the man he now was.

"Harry, did you finish going through that box?" Mrs. Weasley asked as he passed her. As he came close, her eyes caught on the photo in the young boy's hands, "Oh dear," she said, "he thought all of her was gone forever. You should bring that to Sirius," Harry nodded and began to walk away, "Harry, don't be shocked … don't be shocked if your godfather cannot tell you the story." This only made his curiosity grow, why would this be hard for Sirius to talk about and where was this beautiful girl now?

"Harry! I was just about to go looking for you!" Exclaimed to voice of none other than Sirius Black, "What do you have there?" Harry couldn't bring himself to speak as he handed over the pictures and watched Sirius's face fall, after a few seconds a small smile emerged onto the older man's face. He wouldn't take his eyes off the picture, "Wow, I thought the pictures of her were gone. She's beautiful, isn't she?" Harry nodded silently although Sirius wasn't looking at him, "You know, she came from a strict pureblood family as well. She was in Gryffindor with me. Wow," He couldn't seem to be able to grasp the idea of who he was looking at, as he slowly flipped through the small stack of photos, "she looks just like an angel."

"Will you tell me about her," Harry asked softly, trying not to push his godfather.

Sirius didn't respond, he just stared at the beautiful girl he had not seen in a lifetime. Her face held the memories of happier times, "She was really beautiful, not just on the outside, but on the inside. Many had mixed feelings towards her, there were some girls who despised her because of me, they thought she was hogging me." He let out a small chuckle, "It sounds conceited saying that now, but that was how it was. No one hurt her though, I wouldn't allow that. She never resented me for her problems, she was always happy. Then there were the teachers, the ghosts, us and your mum, we loved her so much." Sirius didn't seem to be able to stop talking about the girl.

"What happened to her," Harry asked again, "please, will you tell me the story?"

"She was killed with your parents," Sirius put an arm on his godson's shoulder, "we were both supposed to go over there, I was running late. I could've been there." The pain and self-loathing was dripping from his voice, "I had gone to check on Peter."

"I was never told of her," mumbled Harry, "Why didn't anyone tell me that my godmother was with my parents when they were killed?"

"My best assumption was that a Death Eater hid her body, maybe Peter so that I would definitely be blamed. It was hard enough for anyone to believe that I would sell out James and Lily, but if it was heard that Tamina had been there too, that would've been absurd. Too many, people I cared about.

"I know you've heard, I was quite the Casanova in my Hogwarts days, but with all of those girls there was just one who was aways there with me. Tamina and I were attached at the hip," he chuckled at a memory, "once, she broke her arm. I wasn't allowed to sit with her and she was being forced to stay in the hospital wing for a night. She hated the hospital wing, so I hurt myself to get me stuck with her. Since then I was allowed to be with her no matter what."

Remus had come up behind them, "I remember," he spoke, "when she found out my secret problem she had become really confused. She couldn't for the life of her figure out why I was nervous about it. She was a bit innocent in that aspect. Since then she would wait every full moon, she would visit me every chance she had while I was in the hospital wing."

"I can tell you each story that went along with the pictures." Sirius mumbled, "I could never give justice to the entire story of Tamina and I." He thought for a while, "This was going into our sixth year, she had just been disowned by her family much like I had been…


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: In this story Regulus is older than Sirius, sorry guys! Also, I'm promising for plenty of character development, it may just be something I'm self conscience about, but if you hate any of the characters let me know. But I promise most will be getting plenty of better…ness :) enjoy!

"Tamina," a voice shouted, cutting through the smoke emitted from the giant Hogwarts Express. A tall boy with shaggy black hair fought his way through the crowd of students and their parents, shouting the name a few more times before he reached a short girl with long, curly blonde hair. Her smile was one of unconcealed happiness as the two embraced each other, "I'm so sorry." He mumbled to her.

The girl let out a giggle, "Don't be, it was bound to happen." The two discussed the blonde getting kicked out of her family while they embraced until they were interrupted by a cough from a red head behind them. Lily stood next to the two friends, gave a polite smile to Sirius with a stiff hello before explaining to the blonde that she needed to attend a prefect meeting.

Sirius left to find his friends and Tamina boarded the train with her red headed friend, smiling now that she was heading home. She found an empty compartment to sit down, Lily went to the meeting and she knew Sirius and her friends would join her soon.

"Excuse me," a small girl poked her head into the compartment, "there's nowhere else to sit, do you mind if we join you?" Tamina nodded quietly, "are you a first year too?" One of the girls who sat down asked.

"No, I'm a sixth year," she said giving a kind smile. She began to talk about how amazing the school was and how the girls would love their time there. She kept her smile on, trying not to be offended that they had thought her so young. It was a common mistake.

The girls didn't care for what Tamina was saying and quickly began to ask their own questions, "Did you see that guy running down the corridor?" One of the girls asked the others, "He was gorgeous, I hope all the guys here are like that!" She squealed, "do you know him?" She asked Tamina.

"My brother says he's a troublemaker though, his group call themselves the Marauders," added one of the girls, Tamina knew many girls spoke of her friends and yet she found the conversation odd, "That one was Sirius Black, he's the worst of them." Tamina attempted to stifle an eye roll, of course it was Sirius they were talking about.

Sirius, as if on cue, opened up the door to the compartment. Tamina looked up and felt the large smile tug on her lips, "That's where you went." He smiled as he sat down next to her, "Sorry girls," he nodded towards the first years, "James needs help on a prank." He grabbed her book, "But I don't want you to go near the Slytherins, so I said I would find you." He began to read, "You brought Snow White?" He asked laughing.

"It's good," Tamina protested in vain, "anyway what happens when you aren't around to tell me the story, now I will have you with me everywhere I go." She placed her head on his shoulder.

Sirius went silent for a few moments, "you know you will always have me with you."

Tamina opened her mouth to respond when Lily poked her own head into the compartment, "I see Sirius found you," she looked around, "why are you with first years?" Realizing that she the first years were listening she quickly apologized, "I'm sure you're all lovely."

The group looked at the girls who sat with them, they had forgotten about their companions, "Lily, I have a bone to pick with you!" Sirius suddenly exclaimed, "Tamina has stayed with you for the last little bit of break. I am correct, aren't I?" Lily gave a slow, almost scared nod, "Well you don't have the handbook."

Lily looked at him questioningly, "It's a joke of his that isn't funny," Tamina said poking Sirius's rib, "it's his guide on how to take care of me, all the Marauders have one." Tamina tried in vain to explain Sirius's odd tactics.

"Tamina, is never hungry!" Sirius began, "It's a personality fault," he ignored the girl's elbow in his side, "you need to give her a plate and make her eat half of it. If all else fails give her some Honeydukes Chocolate so she doesn't waste away, but don't give her too much or she will eat it all at once. Can't help herself."

"Am I going to be stuck with all of these rules," Lily moaned plopping down on the seat.

"Why aren't you taking notes," Sirius asked glaring at the redhead.

"Sirius Black," Lily spoke slowly, trying to keep herself from yelling, "Tamina was absolutely fine living with me, I am not going to make a notebook of how to take care of her. She isn't a child, she can take care of herself."

The girl who they were talking about let out a slight giggle, "Don't worry Lil, Sirius is just a worry wart. To change the topic, I'm thinking about dying my hair."

Sirius's immediate protests were interrupted by one of the first year girls, "Excuse me, I don't want to be rude." She began, squeezing in between the blonde and the boy, "I just wanted to introduce myself, my name is Abigail." She put her back towards Tamina and held her hand out for Sirius.

"Hi, Abigail," Sirius shook her hand with a large smile, "it's amazing to meet you, but I need to go prank a Slytherin with Tamina." He then began to drag the blonde and redhead along with him out of the train compartment and into the patiently waiting presence of the other Marauders.

James Potter gave a large smile to Lily as he moved his hand up to his already messy, raven hair. He gave the redhead a smooth pickup line and as usual a fight broke out between the two.

Peter Pettigrew stood there also, although a bit chubby and awkward he fit in well with the group. Tamina stared at him the longest, it always made her feel warm inside as she thought about the Marauders who so willingly accepting this awkward kid. They never felt forced to include the boy, the genuinely loved him.

She then said her hellos to Remus Lupin who stood there, much more mature than the other boys and yet he too fit in perfectly. He kept them from doing the truly outrageous pranks, her eyes moved down to the prefect badge which shone proudly from his chest and expressed her congratulations and how she wasn't surprised he was appointed the spot.

This was where she belonged, she knew that. Especially as she looked at the boy who could always put a smile on her face and would protect her from anything bad in the world, she had only admitted to James Potter that she was in love with Sirius. She knew he'd never tell Sirius, but always felt herself hoping he would, hoping that just maybe Sirius could feel the same way about her.

"Here's the plan," Sirius spoke quickly and in a hushed whisper as he explained the small explosions which would hit Malfoy and his flunkies.

"Wait," Tamina explained before the set up began, "I'm going to be taking pictures a lot this year and I want a posed one of the pranks!"


	3. Chapter 3

Sirius stared down at the picture with longing eyes, "At the time it didn't matter to me that the picture didn't capture the moment after, she had smiled at me and ran into my arms. She told me how much she missed me, it had been something I could reminisce on with her, now I wish I could see that moment just one more time." His words were dripping with despair.

"She sounds great," mused Harry, "I wish I could have met her. How did you two become such great friends?" He couldn't control his curiosity over this woman who had been such a large part in his family's life.

"She was betrothed to my brother," laughed Sirius, "mum said that I should meet her, get to know my future sister in law. The Nights were a prominent pureblood family and I had decided to hate her. I remember I was sorted into Gryffindor first and then when she went up, she was put in Gryffindor too. I thought maybe she wasn't like her family and I should introduce myself."

Remus laughed, "Those two were inseparable, when you saw one you knew the other was close by, in the most literal sense - except for seventh year - James and Tamina were the only ones who's advice he would listen to."

Harry noticed Sirius cringe when Remus mentioned their seventh year at Hogwarts, "What happened your seventh year?" Harry asked timedly.

"Maybe, you'll get to hear the story a different time."

"Dinner!" Molly Weasley called to the group, they sat in silence for a little bit longer before standing up to join the Order for the amazing dinner waiting for them.

As usual there was chatter amongst the attendants until Fred and George decided to create an uncomfortable silence, but maybe this time it wasn't on purpose. Both decided to begin questioning Harry, Sirius, and Remus about the discussion they were having earlier, before dinner. They commented how neither of them were talking during dinner and it must be serious, Harry was struck by the thought that maybe the boys were no longer simply pranksters. Maybe they really wanted to contribute to the war and wanted any information they could get their hands on.

Sirius and Remus shared a look that Molly seemed to receive the gist of, she had known Tamina and she had seen the photos. She sighed, "This is something for only these three to know, don't concern yourself with it."

"No, it's fine," Sirius interrupted, "why shouldn't they know?" He passed around the pictures, almost hesitantly, as if he couldn't let the girl in them leave him again.

There were a few murmurs from the older group, murmurs of recognition. From the younger crowd some commented on her beauty, some didn't say anything, and no one commented at the obvious love shared between her and the man who sat in front of them who lost two of his best friends and the love of his life.

It wasn't until they reached Charlie Weasley that the there was a lull in the rhythm, "I know this girl." He murmured these words to himself, but the entire table heard him just fine. There were a few questioning comments, "Yes, I definitely met her once. When I was little, back before You Know Who had been killed the first time.

"There was an Order meeting, do you remember," he asked the adults who had been there at the time, "She waited outside with me since I wasn't allowed in, she played with me." He looked up again, almost contemplating whether he should tell the story of how he met the girl. He gave a slight nod, "I could never forget her, she was so nice. She said something to me; though, something that I have managed to remember. I asked her if she was afraid of the war and she said no, she looked over to where the meeting was being held before saying that she would be protected. Even if she died, she would be happy because…" He paused, "I cannot give her words justice, she said them so easily."

"What did she say," Sirius mumbled begrudgingly as if a part of him were dreading the words being released. Harry's thoughts were again brought to the comment about the Marauder's seventh year of Hogwarts and realized that was the story he was desperate to hear.

"She said she knew she was going to die in love and that she would be protected to the very end."

Sirius looked distraught, "She died thinking that I was the reason behind it all, she was under the impression that I was the Secret Keeper."

The mood was suddenly flipped as many tried to convince the worn out man that she must have known he wouldn't do that. He smiled, a sad smile at their efforts, but anyone could see the self loathing in his eyes as he walked away. The guilt which plagued him, for the death of everyone he loved. If only he had agreed to carry the secret, maybe his family would still be alive.

There was a long, uncomfortable silence as Charlie began to regret ever speaking up. The pictures were returned to Harry, he stared down at the next picture. The couple was sitting on a bench in Hogsmead laughing and whenever Sirius would look away she would stare at him, there was no smile on her face. She simply gave him a look full of trust and love, "What's the story behind this photo," Harry asked Remus.

The now much larger group peaked at the picture and Remus had their undivided attention, "This one was fun, it was a few weeks after school had begun. I think this one really begins on the full moon, you need to know that Tamina was always in the boys dorms, more than her own room. Especially on the full moon she would wait up for it to be over, someone would bring me to the hospital wing and she would help the group with their wounds. Always, without fail she would ask how I was and the next day she would bring me chocolate.

"She was an amazing girl, so this one night she sat up waiting…


	4. Chapter 4

She had fought to stay up, but it was late and time was going by slowly as she inhaled the sent on Sirius's pillow. Eventually it was inevitable that she dozed off and didn't awaken until she heard hushed whispers.

"You're back," she mumbled, just getting out of the sleepy haze. She slowly sat up, "How's Remus doing? Did any of you get hurt? Was the transition easy enough? Do you need me to fix any of you up?" They were familiar questions that didn't use any brainpower, allowing her to begin sleeping once again.

"Don't worry, just go back to bed," mumbled Sirius as he climbed into bed with her, as the group silently thanked Merlin that it was a Saturday. Tamina nodded and slumped back into the bed, curling into Sirius's side.

In what seemed like less than a second, James's voice was cutting through the fog created by sleep, calling for the group to wake up. "I don' wanna," Sirius mumbled clutching to Tamina as if she were a life line.

"Get up!," James called before saying a quick spell and throwing water onto the two sleeping forms, "We are going to breakfast, my Lily is waiting."

Sirius stared at his best mate in disgust, "Do we have to eat with Lily? She's so mean!" He ignored a glaring Tamina and James, "She doesn't like me." He huffed, "Why doesn't she like me? I'm lovable and I'm her best friend's best friend!" He only stopped speaking to perform a drying spell on Tamina and himself.

This made the blonde laugh, "You both hate each other for some reason, but I'd say she has a perfectly good reason to hate you. We are sitting with Lily and there is no discussion about it!" She then hopped out of bed and began to get ready for the day, "After breakfast we are going to visit Remus, was it a rough night?"

The group made their way to the common room and filled Tamina in on the events of the previous night, once she was satisfied that no one had been hurt and Remus would be fine they changed the subject. They chatted about their plans for the day and James mentioned how he was struggling in charms once they reached Lily, a failed attempt to get her to spend time with him.

"Tamina," a deep voice spoke timidly behind the group walking to the dining hall, "can we talk?" The entire group stared in shock at the face of Regulus Black, Sirius's brother. He gave a small step forward, "Please?"

The small girl allowed Sirius to step in front of her and deny the request as she stared in fear at the seventh year Slytherin who looked scarily similar to her Sirius. He held a different expression from his brother, right then he looked almost scared and shy which is why she pushed past her friends and accepted his request.

"Don't worry," she assured the group as Tamina walked off with Regulus, a Slytherin and a Black. Once they were out of earshot she crossed her arms over her chest and glared. With a daring look she snapped, "What do you want?"

He looked down, "I need your help." With a few words of encouragement the boy began, "I want a relationship with my brother, he's in love with you. Maybe you could convince him to try and at least talk with me." He explained how much he loved his younger brother, of how he too was sorted into Gryffindor. He had begged the hat to place him in Slytherin for at the time he had not possessed the courage to defy his family.

Eventually the girl agreed to his request, she would talk to Sirius. She left Regulus standing alone, "What did he want?" Sirius immediately asked once he saw that she was safe. She waved him off saying they would talk about it after eating, with a few protests the two eventually kept walking to catch up with the rest of their group.

As the friends ate together Sirius kept pestering the blonde for what his brother had talked to her about, but she wouldn't talk. She knew that she would have to find the right time and place to have this talk with Sirius. He did have a quick temper when it came to his family and their values.

Tamina lightly placed her hand on Sirius's arm and looked up into his eyes, "I'm going to check on Remus." She got up to leave, knowing without looking, that Sirius was right behind her.

The two walked in silence until a tiny first year popped up, "Hi, I'm Abigail." She flipped her long brown, hair and gave a charming smile, "We met on the train." She attempted to flirt with the much older boy.

Tamina, ignoring her heart break, kept walking allowing Sirius to do his thing. Tamina had accepted a long time ago that Sirius would never love her as more than a friend, but she would at least have him as her best friend. She smiled to herself as she kept walking not letting herself feel the heart break, as she walked a small voice in the back of her mind began to speak for her. Why had Regulus claimed that SIrius was in love with her? Why hadn't she asked him to describe that more...maybe it just seemed like he was. Yes, that had to be it. They just spent time together, many thought they were dating.

She began to skip, once the heartache had ebbed away, she smiled and grew excited to talk to Remus. They hadn't had a real heart to heart since the year began. She told herself she would have fun talking with Remus, they always got along and he was so sweet.

Tamina made it to the doors that lead to the Hospital Wing, the one room in the school she despised the most. She had to stop in front of the doors before entering, convince herself that it would be okay to walk in. Her fear of the hospital wing was irrational, she knew this and yet she couldn't get rid of it. Her train of through was quickly interrupted by a voice, the voice was cold and unfriendly. She recognized it immediately.

Suddenly she couldn't move, she was frozen as she stared into the icy, blue eyes of Lucius Malfoy. He had pulled out his wand, "Who is it, but Sirius Black's little toy." He spoke in a calm voice which seemed to bring chills through Tamina's body.

She needed to stand up for herself, but no words came out of her mouth. She was too scared, he would hex her. The battle between Malfoy and Sirius had been ongoing since their first year.

"Get away from my girl, Malfoy," Sirius's voice was a hushed whisper, but it didn't mask his anger. He whipped out his wand and held it threateningly in the direction of Malfoy as he attempted to move closed to Tamina.

"Not so fast." Lucius snapped, pointing his own wand at the dark haired boy. He gave a cold laugh as he began to taunt Sirius. Sirius stared Lucius down with unmasked hatred, "I won't hex you." Sneered the Slytherin who moved his wand to face Tamina.

"Do not touch her." Sirius hissed, before any response could escape from Lucius's lips he was being flung across the room. Quickly the blonde stood up and ran from the two Gryffindors, always the coward. Sirius wasted no time to run over to the threatened girl, wrapping his arm around her waste he began to inspect her body.

His soft hands moved across her face, tilting her head around, eventually moving to her arms. Tamina felt a blush beginning to form, "Sirius, I'm fine." She mumbled, but he kept looking for any bruises which may litter her body. With a sigh she put both of her hands on the side of his head, forcing him to look at her. His jaw was clenched and his eyes hard, "Look at me," she whispered for his eyes were looking to the sider of her head, "I am fine. You came here just in time," she began to run her fingers along his jaw and through his hair, "calm down."

His jaw relaxed a bit, but his eyes still would not meet Tamina's. He exhaled, "I will make sure that he never goes near you again." His voice was hard, "This is the second time I haven't been able to protect you today."

Tamina found herself laughing at this statement, she let her fingers roam his face, trying to calm him down. With a smile on her face she began to speak, "Regulus didn't harm me, he just wanted to talk. Sirius, listen to me. You always protect me, so well and even now you sent Malfoy running. Don't be so hard on yourself." His hand around her waist clenched.

Finally Sirius made eye contact and seemed to lose all control as he slumped down, pulling Tamina close to his body. He seemed to be comforting himself rather than her, making sure that she wasn't hurt, "But it's my job," he finally mumbled, "I should have been here. That bloody first year came out of nowhere, if I was just a little late you could have been hurt."

"You said I was your girl." Tamina smirked, trying to lighten the mood. Butterflies invaded her stomach just at the memory of what had been said. This seemed to make Sirius feel better too, for a smile finally reached his face. It was a fake smile, but she knew it was progress.

Finally the two pulled apart, "I'm so sorry." Sirius murmured as he stared into her eyes and stroked her hair, his face seemed to be getting closer. Tamina's eyes fluttered shut, "We…" Sirius voice trailed up and Tamina's eyes slowly opened to see he was only a few centimeters from her own face, "We should probably go to Remus." He whispered, but didn't make a move to pull away.

Heartbreak shot through Tamina's chest, "Yeah, you're probably right." Her heart was pounding, begging him to kiss her.

After a few moments of them not pulling a part she decided to make the first move, "Hey guys, whatcha doing?" James's loud voice interrupted them. They looked over to see their friend, leaning against the wall simply staring at them.

"Tamina, go ahead inside. I'll be right there." She nodded, slowly walking into the hospital wing. Once she was gone he turned on James, "Prongs, what the bloody hell were you thinking?"

James quickly shot back, "You two were just standing there, Sirius you need to let her know that you are in love with her. Everyone can see it, but her. So, get off your arse and tell her, don't just stand there. She's in love with you two and you have kept her hanging for too long, you might lose her soon."

"I can't tell her because then I might lose her, don't you understand," Sirius found himself begging, needing someone's sympathy rather than his own.

Unfortunately for Sirius this was his best friend he was talking to, "Padfoot, cut the pity party. You may be afraid to lose her, but you are driving her away. You need to see that she has the same feelings for you," with an annoyed sigh he finally told his secret, "she told me so herself. A few years ago: she swore me to secrecy, but mate, you need to know that she's in love with you." Sirius couldn't react to this news. A million questions seemed to flood through his mind as he spun around to walk into the Hospital Wing.

When he walked in he saw Tamina curled up in bed with Remus they spoke in a hushed tone and quickly stopped when they noticed it was Sirius who had walked in. Were they talking about him, he wondered. Quickly he banished the thought to the back of his mind as he sat in the chair next to Remus, "You all right?" He asked Remus as the two sat up in bed.

"I'm fine, how are you doing? I'm sorry about last night…" Remus trailed off guiltily. In no time Sirius had managed to lighten the mood, it was his natural gift. By the time James and Peter joined the group they were laughing, the previous night forgotten.

"Remus, I'm going to have to leave you to go to Hogsmead," Tamina apologized, "I have a date."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Sorry about this chapter, I couldn't seem to get it right. But I pushed through and I'll probably come back eventually and fix it up 3 Also, to all 2 of you that reads this :P, I'm really sorry if this is moving a bit slow. I just really want to set up the relationship of Sirius and Tamina, but I promise it'll start moving soon.

The group looked at the blonde in shock, no one had heard this news. Not even Sirius, "What, you have a date?" Peter asked in shock, no one else could bring themselves to speak.

She gave a shy smile, "Yeah, I'm sorry that I never mentioned it. I am excited though, he's a seventh year Ravenclaw, he seems sweet." She made quick eye contact with a few of the members of the group, refusing to meet Sirius's eyes before running out of the hospital wing.

She told herself she ran out because of how uncomfortable the room made her feel, not the look of hurt on Sirius's face. She felt guilty, he might think that she didn't cherish their friendship. He might think that's why she didn't tell him.

The Marauders simultaneously turned to look at Sirius, to see his reaction. He sat in shock for a matter of seconds before quickly standing up, "I need to go to Hogsmead too and get chocolate." Quickly he put on one of his usual, charming smiles, "And meet some ladies." He gave his friends a wink as he received a few eye rolls. No one was fooled by his act this time and he knew it.

"Padfoot, it's only going to hurt seeing her with some bloke," James spoke quietly, well experienced with the pain of seeing the girl he loved happy when spending time with other people. He looked up at his best friend sadly, "Just try not to overreact."

Sirius ended up making his way to Hogsmead with Lily who unfortunately was walking at the same time and pace as he was. Their walk was mostly silent until Sirius could no longer hold in his curiosity, "So what is this Ravenclaw boy like?"

Lily didn't seem to catch on to why Sirius was asking so she began to ramble, "He's okay, a bit full of himself. We don't know him very well, he might end up being amazing. I hope he ends up being good for her, she really needs a boyfriend. I think you have taken the boyfriend role in her life even though you two aren't dating." She gave Sirius a genuine smile, "Don't worry, you two will always be friends. It's just that she needs someone who will be there for her completely. More than what you can be."

The two Gryffindors went silent once more, the Marauder receding into his thoughts. He didn't understand what Lily was saying, he was always there for Tamina. No matter what, she knew that he would put down anything for her. At least he hoped she knew.

When they reached the small town, their goodbyes were brief and without emotion. He needed to find Tamina, make sure the date was going well. He just didn't know where the mystery bloke would take her on a date, he decided to check Honeydukes first.

It didn't take too long of wandering around the village before he found her sitting on a bench. Alone. Quietly he sat down next to her, "You don't have to worry about me all the time." She said quietly, without looking over.

"Why aren't you with him," he asked, not caring to comment on what she said to him.

She took in a deep breath as she leant her head on his shoulder, "Apparently he was really good friends with a Hufflepuff seventh year and was in love with her. He was just using me to make her jealous." Sirius offered to beat him up and she laughed, "No, I think it's cute in a horrible and painful way. At least they can be happy together."

"James says we should date," it was a casual comment between the two, they were often told they should date and they were accustomed to the common belief around Hogwarts that they were already dating.

"That's because we would make a great couple."

"Yeah, we would."

They were silent for a while, eventually turning their heads to smile at the camera Lily had in her hands. She giggled as she snapped the quick shot of her two friends.


	6. Chapter 6

Remus trailed off with the end of the story, "She took care of us, kept us all sane somehow. It's not fair, Harry, it's not fair that you will never know her or your parents. You will never know who we all were, before we were betrayed and before the war."

"If they were so in love with each other, what happened their seventh year?" Harry pressed for information, his confusion taking over, "Obviously something big happened, did she leave the school? Did they have a fight? Please, Remus, you must tell me."

Remus paused for a minute, "You must hear the beginning of their story before you can understand their last year at Hogwarts. I will make you a deal: learn about this girl, she and Moaning Myrtle were friends. You could ask Myrtle her side of Tamina's story and when the time comes if you still want to know the story, I will tell you." At Harry's confused look, Remus nodded, "Yes, somehow Tamina had become friends with Myrtle the ghost."

Harry nodded before leaving the table, he needed to find Sirius. He wanted to hear about the next picture, as he walked he began to think about his godmother. She was gorgeous, that was a fact, even in the photographs he could see why Sirius loved her so much. He wondered what it would be like to know her, he could almost see his life.

There was his mom who would be stern with him while his dad and Sirius would try to teach him to prank the way they used to. Remus would help his mom scold the group and Tamina would sit there laughing. His dad would walk over to his mom, he would kiss her on the head and reassure her that he was just joking. Remus would smack James and remind him of how he used to have to fight for Lily's affections.

Tamina and Sirius would be in their own world, they would talk and even after being together for so long, they would still be madly in love. Tamina would try to scold Sirius for annoying Lily, but she would secretly be laughing at his antics. They would be a happy family.

Harry burst into Sirius's room and sat down with an angry sigh, "What's up kid?" Sirius asked, messing up Harry's hair, making it even messier than it usually was.

"I hate Voldemort, I wish we could have been a family. I want my mum and dad, I want you and Tamina, I want Remus to take mum's side when you and dad are messing around. I want that life," He huffed.

Sirius gave a sad smile, "Trust me, kid, that is all I want in life too. We would have been a good family, we would have been happy, life would have been good. You can't dwell on the past though, we need to move forward and win this war."

Harry couldn't help himself, he was just so angry, "You are living in the past." He snapped, "You wont tell me what happened your seventh year and you are caught up with Tamina, Peter Pettigrew is all that kept you sane in Azkaban. You need to let go."

The two went silent, eventually Sirius looked down at the next picture. This one was different from the others. Sirius was in the dinning hall with another girl, also beautiful, she had dark hair which flowed down her back and looked at Sirius as if she loved him.

Sirius smiled with the girl, he would say something and the two would laugh until Tamina walked in. She was struggling with her books, sat down and covered her face. In a flash, all of Sirius's attention was towards the blonde, he would rub her back and speak to her before the image began to replay.

The two watched the picture play a few times before Harry finally spoke, "Who's this new girl?" It was a simple question and yet Sirius hesitated before giving a vague answer, "I mean, where does she fit into the story, I thought this was the love story of you and Tamina."

Sirius chuckled, "Doesn't mean I didn't date other people." Sirius began, "I was young, I didn't know how to convince Tamina to be with me, to really be with me. I was a player back then, so my genius plan was to convince Tamina that I could be in a serious relationship." He chuckled, "I thought that if she saw that I could be with one person, then when I finally got up the nerve to ask her out she would believe me that I loved her."

Harry laughed with his godfather, "Even I could have come up with a better plan." He sat down in a comfortable position, "But please elaborate."

Sirius smiled at his best friend's son, "It started when we were eating lunch with Myrtle, you might know her as Moaning Myrtle." Harry nodded with a knowing smile on his face, "She and Tamina were good friends, I think Tamina was the only person Myrtle would talk to. She only ever put up with me because of Tamina…


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Hey, sorry for not updating on Monday, it's been a tough week. My best friend and I just had our first fight and that was weird and just sucked. Luckily it all worked out, it'll always work out with us :) but still, too stressed to update. Again, sorry and I hope you guys enjoy this chapter

"I was in love once," Myrtle said dreamily, "His name was Zane Perryman, he never cared for me though. I doubt he even knew that I was alive…" She continued on her description of the love of her life.

"I'm in love," Tamina contributed silently.

"You never told me this." Sirius said in a both shocked and hurt voice.

"I never knew how to bring it up," She looked at Sirius for a few seconds before beginning, "I just need to tell you. I realized about two years ago, it wasn't a huge deal I just came across it like it was there all along."

Sirius stopped her before she continued, "I'm in love too." He stated, not wanting to hear about the new bloke in her life.

Tamina stumbled on her words and was saved by Myrtle blowing up, "You are in love!" She screeched, "You ungrateful prick!" She ignored Sirius's shocked confusion, "Don't you understand that you can't be in love with some random girl." She rambled incoherent words and stayed as close to Tamina as she could.

Tamina had caught her words though and held her tears at bay, "Who is this girl?" She asked making sure her voice wouldn't crack, "Do I know her?"

Sirius put on a smile, paused for a few seconds before speaking, "You should guess." He said before leaving the girls alone.

"Tamina." Myrtle spoke slowly, almost scared to startle the blonde girl who sat, staring at the wall, with silent tears streaming down her face. She moved closer to the girl, "Tamina, he's a git. You have loads of guys who would be lucky to be with you."

"I was going to tell him that I loved him," sobbed Tamina.

Sirius burst through the bathroom and down the hall, "How the bloody hell could Tamina be in love with some other bloke!" He roared when he reached James, "She's going off about how in love she was with him and doesn't understand that I do not want to hear it!"

"Who was the guy?" James asked in shock, he knew that Tamina was in love with Sirius. He couldn't figure out why she would claim to be in love with someone else.

"I didn't let her tell me his name, I would kill the prat if I knew who he was," Sirius mumbled incoherent threats towards Tamina's "beau" and James listened on in shock.

"How did you interrupt her," he asked, already guessing the damage Sirius had done. His suspicions were proven correct as he listened to what Sirius had told her, "I think that you should really tell her how you feel, maybe she was going to tell you that she has feelings for you." James suggested, shocked at what a thick head his best mate had.

Sirius laughed in disbelief, "That wouldn't work," he said as he began to plot, "what I should do is get a girlfriend, show Tamina what life would be like with me as a boyfriend. She'll definitely fall in love with me that way!" He exclaimed his plan with a smug smile upon his face, for he truly believed that he had solved the problem.

"Padfoot, I hate to break it to you, but that is a terrible idea. I strongly suggest that you tell her how you feel. She is in love with you, she was going to say it to you. Why wont you understand this?" He gave up his futile attempts when he recognized that Sirius had stopped listening to what he was saying.

"No, this plan is genius." Sirius began to elaborate, "Who should I pick…" he paused, thinking, "it should be someone who she always compares herself to. Maybe someone who isn't very nice to Tamina, James, you need to help me!" He exclaimed when he noticed that his best mate had stopped giving him any attention.

"Stay away from Lily," James snapped.

"That's a brilliant idea, I'll ask Lily which girls Tamina hates. Tamina never talks to me about girl drama," he then proceeded to bolt out of the room before James could protest any farther.

"I am going to go tell him right now," Tamina exclaimed to Myrtle, they had been pumping her about for a while now and she was ready to confess her feelings to Sirius. She gave a nervous smile, "I just need him to know the truth. When he rejects me, I can finally move on. Closure."

She burst into the Great Hall with the confidence which she had spent the past hour collecting, only to see Sirius and Kylie Henry sitting together...too close together. She was too late. Sitting down she kept her face down, not making eye contact.

"Hey, Tamina, do you and Kylie know each other," Sirius asked, showing off his new girlfriend. There was a smug smile on his face, like he'd just won a competition. Kylie was everything Tamina ever wanted to be: beautiful, outgoing, everyone loved her.

Tamina gave her best smile, "Not really, but it's so great to see you and Sirius together." She lied, "When did you two start talking, I never knew you were friends." She mentioned, trying to be pleasant.

"Well, we've never really talked…" Kylie said slowly, she flipped her hair, "But I've always been in love with him. I never thought he could love me too." She giggled and Tamina felt her hatred boil, the way Kylie said love. She did not love Sirius, she didn't know him. She didn't know that when he was sad he would go to the Shrieking Shack, she didn't know that he still loved his mother, she didn't even know that Sirius Black hated traveling by Floo.

She was saved by James plopping down on the seat next to her, "Padfoot, Tamina," He acknowledged his two friends, "and I'm afraid that I don't know who you are." He said turning towards Kylie.

The two began to talk, giving Sirius the opportunity to lean across the table and have a private conversation with the blonde. He looked nervous as he said, "So, really tell me what you think of her." He whispered.

She sighed, "I don't know her, but if you are happy than so am I." She tried to make it clear that she didn't want to talk.

"No, please tell me. Do you think we are good together?"

She rolled her eyes, "Don't talk to me about this please, I do not know this girl," She couldn't stand it, why was this so upsetting right now, she had never been angry with Sirius before. Either way Tamina found herself getting up and walking out of the dining hall without finishing her meal.

"Tammy where are you off to," Lily asked, using the hated nickname as she bumped into the blonde girl. Tamina kept walking, "Tamina!" Lily exclaimed, racing after her best friend and roommate.

"Not now, Lil, I'm just not in the mood," Tamina snapped and tried to flee once more.

Lily forced the much smaller girl to stop in her tracks, "You don't need to talk about what's going on, but _I_ need you right now. Please," suddenly Tamina noticed how stressed Lily looked, "please," she mumbled again, "I don't know how to handle this." Suddenly she began to speak fast, saying incoherent sentences before breaking down crying, "I don't know how to handle this." Tamina ran to her friend and held her.

She stroked Lily's hair and the two sat in the hallway, huddled together. Sometimes a tear would fall from Lily's eyes or Tamina's, but mostly they just sat together in silence. Neither was ready to talk about their feelings and neither pushed. It was the silent comfort of a friendship so deep and profound, it needed no words. It was a simply kind of comfort, one they both needed and neither was willing to break the silent wallowing until a shadow loomed over them, "What are a mudblood and a blood traitor doing in the hall together?" Sneered the familiar voice of Malfoy.

"Get away you prick." Lily snapped through her tears, both girls were trying to wipe away their own tears. Malfoy began to twirl his wand through his fingers with a knowing look upon his face, "Don't test me," Lily continued, "I will give you detention and deduct House Points if you don't walk away immediately."

Malfoy didn't care to listen, "You, do not scare me." He whispered threateningly which caused both girls to shrink away. He opened his mouth to speak the hex, but before any sound could leave his mouth he was suddenly hanging by his feet. Once in the air the two girls saw that it was none other than James Potter who had saved them.

"James," Lily exclaimed and for the first time it wasn't an angry exclamation of his name, "you saved us," she squealed running towards him and hugging him. James who was taken by surprised dropped Malfoy allowing the bugger to escape, neither seemed to notice. Tamina found herself staring at Lily and James, embracing while talking. Talking extremely close.

That's when it hit Tamina, why Lily was stressed, why Lily had been acting so strange lately. Everything finally clicked, Lily was falling for James, Lily was scared to fall for James. James, James Potter, had finally succeeded.

"Good on you mate," She mumbled before walking off, not glancing at Sirius Black who was standing behind James. Arm around Kylie.

Kylie was forgotten, he hadn't even realized she was there. He ran after Tamina, desperately needing to know if she was okay. When she didn't stop, he burst, "Why are you mad at me?" He cried out, confusion clouding his features.

"Are you really that thick," Tamina finally screeched, two years of heartache coming out. Being rejected so painfully and being fed up, she was finally done. Her eyes narrowed, "How do you not see it, why don't you know?"

There was a long silence between the two, "You don't have to tell me, honest. I'm just sorry, I'm sorry for my thick head and I'm sorry that you are hurt. Just don't shut me out, please." He was desperate and finally she took a deep breath.

"Fine," she said quietly, "fine, everything should just go back to normal. I have homework so I'm going to the dorm. I'll see you around."


	8. Chapter 8

It took a few days for things to really go back to normal between Tamina and Sirius. It started at lunch one day, she had a bad day and Sirius ignored Kylie for her. It was selfish and she felt guilty for enjoying his attention, but that's how it had always been. Tamina had always been his first priority when it came to the girls in his life.

Two days after that they were sitting at dinner, Kylie was saying something, but neither were paying attention. Tamina had quickly looked up a Sirius, seeing that his favorite dessert was being served. He smiled, knowingly and their silent conversations which baffled the rest of the world had begun again.

On the full moon Tamina had slept in the boys dorm, as usual. Sirius ignoring Kylie's complaints with this arrangement.

This was the relationship between Tamina and Sirius, even with time, arguments, and space; they always ended up in the same pattern. They were each other's default setting, neither knowing how to be around the other in any other way. To those around them, even Kylie, it was obvious. She was bitter about it, the way every girlfriend would have the right to be and hoped for the situation to change. She knew it wouldn't, but wasn't ready to admit defeat.

It was late one night, Tamina was in the common room. She was mulling over her recent realization that Lily Evans was in love with James Potter. Lily wouldn't say it yet, but it was clear as day. She had become shy around him and was quicker to yell at him, but instead of giving a long lecture she would just run away.

It was adorable really.

Tamina had been trying to avoid James, worried that she would tell him of Lily's feelings. She knew how that would play out, he would get excited and scare Lily off. No, this needed time and planning.

She needed to talk to Sirius about it, he would help plot. There was a good chance that Kylie would be in the room though, so she was not willing to venture up there. Her homework was spread out in front of her and she was wishing she had done it at a reasonable hour.

She hit her head against the table, the fire had died out making the common room slightly cold. She wondered if the homework fairy could visit her tonight, "Tamina," a familiar voice spoke, "What are you doing?" Sirius moved to sit next to the blonde.

"I'm praying to the gods of health to make me ill so that I wont have to do this work." Moaned Tamina as she slowly lifted her head up and pulled her hair into a ponytail and out of her face.

Sirius let out a laugh as he watched the girl, "The gods of health?" He asked with amusement in his eyes, "Why didn't you do your homework earlier in the day?" Tamina carried on to explain how she had just been too lazy and made sure to ramble, so that she could keep Sirius there, even just for a few more seconds. Without another word Sirius began to pick up her books and walk out of the common room.

"What are you doing," Tamina called as she ran after him, but he didn't answered and kept walking. They both knew where he was going, it was their tradition. When one had a bad day or just needed an excuse to get away, they would go to the kitchens.

"Two hot chocolates please," Sirius exclaimed once inside of the kitchens. The two sat down at a table and began to look at her work.

"So," Tamina began, "I have some juicy gossip you will want to hear." She needed to get this out, "You have to swear that you wont tell anyone though, especially not James." Once Sirius was sworn into secrecy she finally told him about Lily's crush on James and how she still couldn't quite believe it had finally happen.

Sirius couldn't seem to believe her, "James, as in Prongs, as in James Potter," he kept repeating, "Lily Evans, prefect, has more than just platonic feelings towards him?" He asked in shock.

Tamina found herself giggling, "I've never been so happy before." She squealed, "We have been waiting six years for this to happen and now it has."

"Lily's going to need an extra push in the right direction," Sirius mused, "Do you think we should help them along?" Tamina could already see the wheels in his head turning, as each plot raced through his mine. An ever so slightly evil smile graced his face, he even began to rub his hands together for effect.

"No!" She exclaimed before the boy could go any father with his ploys, "If she feels pressured at all she will turn back on any of her feelings." She paused, "They will make beautiful babies, I better be the godmother." She began to plot along with him, "and our kids could grow up with theirs. We would be happy."

Sirius smiled, "So you and I are having kids together?" He questioned, though it wasn't a real question. The same conversation had been played over before throughout the six years of friendship.

"Of course, can you see either of us being married," She laughed.

"We will make such a great married couple," Sirius joined, "I'm breaking up with Kylie. I really wanted to settle down with someone for a while." He explained, "Why can't you and I just date? I know I could be with you."

These words had been spoken so often that Tamina's heart had stopped racing at them. It wasn't a real offer, it was just the truth. The were good together, "We will have dinner with James and Lily at least once a week." She continued it.

"We'll have a baby girl and she'll look just like you," Sirius added.

"But I want her to have your eyes," Tamina chimed in, "I love your eyes and I think she needs them. I also want her to have your sense of humor and strength." It went on, them naming traits they wanted their hypothetical child to have, the life they would lead. A future they both wanted and believed was attainable.


	9. Chapter 9

"What happened then?" Harry asked, appalled that Sirius ended the story there, "Did you kiss her? Did you tell her that you were in love with her?" He needed to know what had happened between the two.

Sirius gave a sad sigh, "No, unfortunately not. There was this first year who was constantly hanging around me, her name was Abigail I think. She burst into the kitchen and got really mad at Tamina for talking to me, that girl was a miserable presence." He proceeded to point at the picture, "This was taken early on in my relationship with Kylie, James had hoped to show me that there was no way I could ever move past Tamina and he was right."

"So…" Harry paused, "When did you finally tell Tamina how you felt?"

Sirius paused for a second, he looked over Harry's shoulder at the wall. He was lost in thought, the much younger boy grew uncomfortable not willing to break Sirius out of the memories. Finally he seemed to realize that Harry was still there, "I waited years, I first realized that I loved her when we were in the dining hall, third year." He gave a soft smile, "Tamina had trouble sleeping, she had good days where she would be fine and then bad days where she just couldn't sleep. I was the only one who could calm her down to sleep, so the night before had been a bad day and she was explaining the concept to your mum. Tamina said that I was the only one who knew how to deal with her. That was when I knew that I loved her.

"It seems so simple, it was a casual conversation. She had even said it before, hell I had said it before. For some reason, right in that moment, it hit me. Everything suddenly made sense." He looked at Harry, "I waited until the first day of our seventh year to tell her, I wasted four years of my life. Harry, don't ever waste time because it flies by so fast."

Harry listened closely to his godfather, "Wait," he began as he tried to sort through the little he already knew, "I thought that your seventh year was bad. Remus said that you two never talked during your seventh year."

All the sadness flooded Sirius's face as the memories came back, "I don't want to talk about this right now, I'm sorry Harry, but this isn't the time."

Harry rushed out the door before Sirius could get angry, he needed to hear this story about The Marauder's seventh year at Hogwarts, from what he had heard so far, whatever pushed the two apart had to be huge.

Harry stared down at the photos, not paying attention to where he was walking, "I'm sorry." He mumbled without looking up at the man who he had bumped into.

"Mr. Potter," a chilling voice spoke, "what are you staring at?" Snape asked as he yanked the pictures out of the young wizard's hands. Without saying a word Snape walked off with all of them, not caring that Harry was pleading to have them returned.

"Severus." Molly Weasley began, looking concerned about what was happening.

He kept repeating that she was dead in an angry voice, he lifted the pictures above the fireplace and threw them into the flames ignoring the many protests.

Harry left as Molly began to scold his professor, he had to be the one to tell Sirius the pictures were gone. He began to walk up the stairs, dreading Sirius's reaction. This was his last connection to the woman, now he would never see her again. It was final.

He knocked on his godfather's bedroom door hesitantly, he slowly explained what Snape had done. Sirius gave a slow, sad smile. He didn't jump up in anger or cry, he simply sat there. Harry finally realized just how broken his godfather was. He had grown accustomed to loss and wasn't affected by this one which was added to the list.

"Why did Snape react that way," He asked hesitantly, curious to the reaction of someone who was generally so cold and collected.

"He was friends with your mother, sometimes Tamina would be with them. They were not friends, but on some level he cared for her. Harry, you must understand that everyone copes differently and he just couldn't see her alive in the pictures."

"So, will you tell me what happened your seventh year," Harry pestered, although he knew he would be shot down.

Time has a tendency to pass without one being aware of it. With the pictures of Tamina gone, Sirius's memories left too. He stopped telling the stories and she was no longer spoken of. Snape acted as though he had never burnt the pictures and Remus never asking where they had gone off to.

The young wizards and witches went off to Hogwarts where one weekend Harry remembered something he was told. Moaning Myrtle had known Tamina on a personal level, walking to the first-floor girls bathroom took longer than he hoped. Especially as he needed to make sure no one watched him enter it.

"Myrtle," He called out, "will you tell me about Tamina Night?"

In a matter of seconds the ghost appeared in front of him, "How do you know about Tamina?" Harry gave a quick explanation, praying that he would get another story about the woman. The ghost huffed, "I wont talk about her, leave now." She roared as she dove into one of the toilets.

"Please, Myrtle. She was my family."

This only enraged the ghost more, "You didn't know her, she wasn't your family. She was my family, she was kind to me unlike everyone else at this miserable place. You do not have the right to use that wording in front of me, she was perfect. We became friends from the bullying she had to put up with from the miserable twat Sirius Black." Myrtle disappeared after this, he called out, but she wouldn't return. He waited for a while, to no avail.

He left with a little more knowledge of his godmother, he only wished he was given the opportunity to know the kind woman.

The year passed the way most of Harry's years passed. Attempts to defeat Voldemort, trying to keep everyone he loved safe. It was a long year, one that ended with Voldemort rising for the public and Sirius's death. The only comfort from his death was that he would now be with Tamina, hopefully they were happy.

Finally, now that their time was coming to an end, Harry was given the story of what happened to Sirius and Tamina in their seventh year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Hello! I got my first review today! Thank you, WeasleyTwinsAreMyLife! You are amazing and perfect and I love you so much, I hope you enjoy this new chapter and I cannot wait to keep writing 3

Tamina stood on Platform 9 3/4, staring at the large red train. This was the last year of Hogwarts, no longer would she have Lily's bed next to hers, no longer would Sirius be five steps away. This year, she vowed to be more independent and secretly vowed to make her feelings clear to her best friend and the man she had fallen for, Sirius Black.

Looking around the blonde couldn't find any of her friends, with the confident belief that they would find her, she went onto the train alone. Walking the halls she realized that there was only one compartment that she could sit in, "Excuse me," she said popping her head through the door, "would you mind if I sit with you?" The girls were in her grade and all Gryffindors, they shared a room, but had rarely spoken. The girls nodded and Tamina happily sat down, "How was your summer?" She asked giddily.

Before any one could answer her, a shaggy head popped through the door, "Hey, Tamina," Sirius began in a nervous voice, one Tamina had never heard before, "we need to talk."

Tamina nodded and jumped out of the compartment and into Sirius's arms, her worry grew as he awkwardly tapped her on the back. He quickly pushed her away and walked out of the compartment. He was always excited to see her, what was wrong? Panic ran through her body as he began to speak, "I have a speech," he began and did James's signature move of running his hands through his hair.

"Before you say anything," Tamina interrupted, "I'm sorry. Did I do something? You are acting really weird, please, Sirius, what's wrong?" She cursed her over emotional body as a tear made its way down her cheek.

Sirius gave a harsh chuckle, "Well, you might never want to speak to me again." He trailed off, "I need to say this though, I've been holding it in for…" once again he trailed off, "I'm in love with you." He finally stated, staring into her eyes. Begging for a reaction other than her blank stare.

"How long have you felt this way," she finally asked before shaking her head, "never mind, not important. I just, I feel the same way you do." She said, tilting her head a bit. Almost surprised that the words had slipped from her mouth.

"Well, this is cool," Sirius said as he nodded, "so, the others should be meeting us here soon. They're all at the prefect meeting." From that their conversation flowed with excitement for James and Lily who had earned the title of head boy and head girl. There was only a slight moment of curiosity for where Peter was, but quickly they moved into the compartment where they ignored the other Gryffindors to spend time together.

Neither noticed the jealous look they were getting from one of the girls and neither knew the plot which was forming in her mind. It was a painful knowledge in the girls mind that this was her last year to try to be with Sirius Black and she was willing to attempt anything.

Lily Evans was the first to join the compartment, "You look like you're under a love potion." She joked to Sirius as she sat next to her friend, neither informing her of their previous love confession. For it was written all over their faces and body language, "I'm happy you two are finally together." She gave a soft smile before launching into an excited rant about their last year at Hogwarts.

The brunette, Alexa, stared at the three friends, not caring if they noticed. Holding onto each gesture between Tamina and Sirius, the jealousy boiling over her body. She hated the way he would gaze at her, while she listened to Lily.

Eventually the other Marauders had joined the group, all excited to discover that Tamina and Sirius were finally together. An event the group had been waiting for since their first year.

And everything was perfect for a while, not much changed between Tamina and Sirius. They had always acted like a couple, they were happier than they used to be. Both were so happy and so in love, their lives only became better once James and Lily began to date. All in the span of the first month at Hogwarts. Life was perfect.

Tamina was doing her homework in the common room, the fire was warming her as she waited for Sirius to come back from Quidditch, usual she would bring dinner to the field. She would wait the last few minutes of practice before giving him a hot meal, he would kiss her and the team would tease them. The fact was that even the Quidditch team was relieved that Sirius and Tamina were finally a couple.

They were both happy, Tamina was waiting in the common room. Once Sirius came in they were planning on heading to the kitchens for a private dinner and to work on their Potions essay together.

They had plans.

So when he walked in and went up to his room, never glancing at Tamina she was hurt. She told herself that he was tired, maybe had a fight with someone. She shook off the hurt and decided to begin the essay on her own, maybe he would return to the common room when he felt better.

Maybe he would kiss her, say he was sorry for not greeting her earlier. They would get food and laugh. She would help him begin the essay and together they would finish it. Because they were together and that's what couples do, they support each other.

Tamina waited until the late hours of the night, finished the essay. She accepted that he wasn't going to come down to be with her, so she went to the kitchens alone. Grabbing him a muffin to set on his bedside table incase he woke up hungry.

He was fast asleep when she walked into the dormitory, so quietly she set the food down and walked out. Looking back, her heart filled with love over her best friend and the man who, for some odd reason, loved her back.

This was the moment she held onto, the last moment of certainty. In the dark nights when she felt so alone, she would tell herself that she did not imagine their relationship.


	11. Poem

A/N: This is the poem which inspired me to write the story. Just wanted to post this here, it's not mine. I hope you guys love it as much as I do :)

I Don't Remember…

By: Ash L. Bennett

I don't remember, any more,

The exact shape of your hands

As I held them in mine,

Caressed them,

Memorized the length of your fingers,

The depth of your calluses.

I don't remember, any more,

Exactly your height, how much

Taller than me

You were, where

My head rested on your chest

When you held me tightly close.

I don't remember, any more,

Your scent, when we lay together

Creating our own

Magic rythm,

Matching our heartbeats as we

Touched the sky, together.

I don't remember, any more,

The sound of your voice, calling

My name as though

It were a song

Within itself, a precious treasure

You valued with all your being.

And I don't remember, any more,

The color of your eyes, the shape

Of your lips,

Only…

How your eyes crinkled at the corners

And your laugh, as you told me,

"I love you."


	12. Chapter 11

A/N: Hey guys! Here's the next chapter, I'm sorry about the last one. I hate everything about it, but I forgot to read over it before updating :( Hopefully this one is better, please review and follow and send your hate/love.

p.s if you want, you can follow me on twitter :) Tearsofarose1

I think that'd be kinda cool :P

The next day Tamina was too tired to wake up for breakfast, so Lily brought up coffee and some food. Putting the food on Tamina's bed side table, Lily climbed into bed to cuddle the sleepy blond. Lily held her close, "I'm so sorry, why didn't you tell me? When did it happen?" She asked softly, stroking the blond curls which were knotted from sleep.

Tamina looked up at Lily in confusion as she began to eat her muffin, "What are you talking about?" The crumbs were falling onto the bed from her position, but neither girl seemed to care.

Lily took a moment to understand Tamina's confusion. She hesitated before getting out of the bed, she went to their stash of chocolate and sweets before climbing back in. She spread out the sweats, Tamina knew something was wrong as she opened up a chocolate frog and quickly ate it. Chocolate made everything better.

"Honey," Lily was hesitant to speak, "we were at breakfast. James and I were alone. Sirius sat down with Alexa…" She trailed off.

Tamina glowered, Alexa was always hanging onto Sirius. She often worried that Sirius would leave her for the brunette who had been after Sirius's heart since their first year. Sirius was never aware of Tamina's fears, she never wanted him to think she was the jealous type. Sometimes he would make an off hand comment about how Alexa was cool, they were friends after all. Not close friends, but friends none the less.

"What about them eating together? They are friends, they've hung out before," fear was gripping her heart as she wondered what the big deal was, Lily knew of Tamina's insecurities and would not bring this up for nothing. But she trusted Sirius, she really did.

"Honey, I'm so sorry. I had just assumed that you and him had broken up a while ago. I haven't really seen you much lately, I didn't realize…" Lily held Tamina tighter, "He's not worth your tears." She mumbled into the blonde's shaking shoulders.

"No, no, no," Tamina repeated, her sobs lasting the day, coming and going as the two friends ate all the sweets. When Tamina couldn't cry any more Lily would take over, crying for her friend's broken heart.

Lily didn't have to tell Tamina that Sirius would tenderly kiss Alexa in between bites of their breakfast. She didn't have to mention the way Sirius could not tear his eyes away from Alexa. His tender, "I love you," before the two parted for class.

Instead the two expressed their anger, wasn't Tamina worth a goodbye? Didn't she deserve a real breakup? They wondered how long the relationship had been going on. Tamina had thought everything was good between her and Sirius, why wasn't she enough?

Lily assured Tamina that James would explain to their teachers that both girls were sick, they wouldn't get into trouble for not showing up for their lessons.

When the sun set, Lily went down to the common room to receive their missed notes and homework from her boyfriend. The two didn't talk about what happened, they shared a quick kiss before Lily returned to her destroyed friend, "James knows I'm not going to make you break up with him because of any of this, right?"

Lily gave a soft laugh, "I'm sure he's a little worried about this drama, but he knows you won't blame him. James was just as surprised as I was, so he didn't know. He might try to clear that up with you later." This was easy talk, they could laugh about how James would do anything for Lily.

One day. Tamina gave herself one day to cry over the man who broke her heart. Lily slept in her bed that night, morning came and Tamina made sure to wake before her friend.

Starting the day with a shower, she spent a large amount of time in the bathroom, practicing her fake smile. She would not let Sirius Black destroy her. At some point in the night Alexa had ended up back in their room. Tamina fought back the tears as she saw the beautiful girl, who slept peacefully. The exact opposite of Tamina.

Without waking Lily, she silently grabbed her bag and walked down the stairs to the common room. The common room where none other than Sirius Black sat, he was in front of the fire with his homework in front of him.

Her heart ripped in half as she saw Sirius, but she was stronger than this. She would not let a break up ruin her...or at least that's what she told herself. She didn't want to be _that_ girl, but she thought he loved her. She thought that maybe she had found someone who wouldn't leave her.

When he noticed her, he stared. A look of confusion on his face as the two looked at each other. Neither moved, neither spoke. He squinted his eyes as though trying to work out a difficult puzzle. He spoke slowly, "Tamina," pausing, trying to remember something that was there, but not _there_.

Before he could finish his sentence, she interrupted, "You're girlfriend is still sleeping, leave me alone." She stormed out, her heart pounding from what she said. She never spoke up, but then she'd never thought Sirius would break her heart like this.

She wanted him to run after her, explain what happened. She wanted him to say he loved her, but he didn't. No one came after her, though she tried to walk slow the whole way to the dinning hall. She wanted him to catch up with her, but he didn't. She needed to accept that he wouldn't. So she sat with Remus and Peter, Remus knew what was going on. He would give her a kind smile as he passed the honey or answered questions on class.

Peter had been absent for all of yesterday and didn't seem to catch the change in atmosphere, "Have you seen Sirius? He promised to help me with my Potions essay. Tamina, I'm happy that you two are finally together, but he was supposed to work with me last night and you two were out until past midnight."

Tamina smiled, "I'm sorry, I haven't seen him. I have to go to the library though, I will see you two later."


	13. Author's Note

sorry, not a chapter, I just want you to know that I'm really sorry for the lack of updates. I've been crazy busy with graduation stuff, but I'll update as soon as I can. This story is not over and I promise not to abandon it 3


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